…is that they will definitely never fuck me. I was walking through the streets of SF today and I found myself surrounded by attractive women participating in the pre-pride parade hoopla. It occurred to me almost instantaneously that of all the gorgeous women that nearly engulfed me as I paced down Grove to Civic Center BART, not a single one would be interested in a bit of horizontal mambo with the likes of me. By “likes” I obviously mean male. Now, allow me to clarify here. I am in no way so arrogant as to believe that I, on a normal day(IE: without the context to clearly denote sexual orientation), really have a chance at sleeping with the beautiful women of SF that are so clearly out of my league. What I mean to impress here is that I enjoy the slight delusions I allow myself.
Maybe she is into chubbier dudes.
She looks like she would love the fact that I know the quickest route to beating Super Mario Bros. 3.
She must be evading eye contact because one glance and she would have to be all over me.
I mean JESUS women. Do you really need to be so “out” that I can’t, for just a moment, pretend that you’d love this package? I assure you that there is adequate carpet to munch in the closet. This is all I have ladies. Please don’t take it away. All I ask is that when you see me walking down the street, you immediately cease holding hands with the life partner that I want to imagine banging. Is that so much to ask? I think not.
Only redeeming factor:
Maybe they miss the male genitalia and want a threeway.
This straight man was thinking the same thing, strolling through Dolores Park and the Castro today.
I had a similar experience at the pride party, I was making eyes at some dude, he started talking to me and realized he genuinely wanted to talk to me about my outfit. Bummer.